![]() Sexy, successful, single, and smart-these are men who could get laid any day of the week if they wanted to. That’s why I’ve been seeking out an increasingly rare breed of man-guys who take it slow. But I don’t want to fast-forward through all those steamy daydreams and meaningful (albeit cheesy) glances. That’s because these days most men are skipping right over the period between the first kiss and the first screw and cutting right to the chase. The Twilight series provides women with something they don’t get to experience much of any more. I’m not saying I buy into the whole Twilight frenzy, but I’ve got to admit, Edward is so hot for Bella that his lust for her super-charges every scene, and it’s sexy. The stuff of summer camp, high school dances, and freshman dormitories. The answer’s simple: Unfulfilled desire (i.e. The only saving grace was he did win that encounter and got a chance to roll the die…only to land in a space that sent him back to the beginning of the board.Have you noticed how women are swooning over a pale little vampire named Edward? What’s this young vamp kid got that you don’t, right? Sadly none of the microgames we played were on the approved list so I can’t really say anything beyond the fact that during one of the games, Brendan took the “Squat” form a little too seriously and ripped his pants. So while it feels like Mario Party, you don’t want to rush to the end unless you have a sizable point lead. The final portion of the demo was actually a party…specifically a 4 player affair where we compete in microgames and try to make it to the end of a board game with the highest score. This title will have the joy-con rumble when it’s your turn to play ensuring you won’t let down your party especially if you’re down to one life. As a person I have an extremely short attention span, so if I’m not actively playing my mind starts to wander. Another thing you could actually play this mode with two players and I noticed a quality of life feature that made co-op play more approachable. Thankfully this station’s passengers didn’t have to witness anything horrific. In it you need to guide a locomotive into the station and stop within its confines, stop too early, you fail, stop too late, disaster. Some of the games we played we can speak to, but the one we could probably best encapsulates the form, the microgame was called Train. This stage was all about the “Choo Choo” form, where you keep your arm at 90 degrees in relation to your body. Next we tried the story mode, where it’s usually a bunch of microgames themed around a character and in this game a specific form. We also did two “Squat” form microgames that really spoke to the game’s crude…specially Buttograph which you haven’t deduced is a portmanteau of butt and spirograph! As we progressed in this museum mode, this microgame had us dodging bullet bills and made us land on the platform thus adding variety to this microgame. We controlled Raccoon Mario from SMB3 as we had to wiggle the tailbone joy-con to keep his tail beating and in the air. Utilizing the “Ba-Kaw” form, right joy-con by your mouth forming a beak, left joy-con by your tailbone forming well…a tail. In typical WarioWare fashion each progressive instance got faster and faster, but Brendan and I made sure our testudine coverings were glistening! The other museum game we played was a retro microgame. The microgame was titled Shell Shine and it mimicked drying your back after a shower. The first microgame we played utilized the “Fashionista” form which consists of the left Joy-con on your hip, your right joy-con by your head, ostensibly posing like a model. We grabbed our joy-cons and put our straps on (safety first…we don’t want to break any TVs or impale anyone!) and checked out a sampling of the over 200 microgames this title had to offer. Ushered into a room with tropical decor, it reflected the plot of this latest WarioWare, in which Wario and his friends are invited on an island adventure for a free vacation. Needless to say, during the Nintendo Holiday Tour, Benny, Brendan and I were given a taste of what’s coming in the latest entry of WarioWare! I guess if I remembered my time with WarioWare: Smooth Moves, this shouldn’t be any different as the Wiimote was used in similar fashion. Waaaaaaaaaaaah! I love Microgames, but I don’t love physical exertion! Mama Mia, what’s a guy to do? WarioWare: Move It!’s key feature is playing microgames in certain poses or “forms” as the game calls them.
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